Interesting concepts from TA — The Hot Potato Transmissions (English, 1969)
Continuing my tribute to the legendary Fanita English, who died on Jan 20th, at age 105.
Have you experienced this?
The boss yells at the employee, the employee yells at their spouse, the spouse yells at the child, the child yells at their younger sibling, the sibling yells at the dog, the dog pees on the rug. Uncomfortable emotions are passed on from one to the other.
Fanita English called this the Hot Potato Transmission. She chose this name based on a children’s game in which music is played while a supposedly hot potato is tossed back and forth between two or more players as though it’s too hot to hold. When the music stops the child who is holding the potato gets “burnt” and must pay the penalty like sing a song, or hop on one leg.
This game is well known in corporate circles as well usually signifying that blame or unwelcome responsibilities have been passed on from the one who is supposed to carry them onto a relatively innocent recipient.
Here is an example. A training co-ordinator who is extremely anxious because participants are senior, says to the trainer with intense emotion, “The audience is really senior”. Suddenly, the confident trainer begins to feel anxiety and confusion. The hot potato of anxiety has been passed. Once the anxiety is passed to the recipient, the donor experiences some relief. Someone else is now carrying the anxiety.
Fanita English talks about how hot potato transmissions happen across generations. She says hot potatoes are passed from a more powerful donor (usually a parent) to a vulnerable recipient (a child). A parent who say feels unfulfilled in their career, may not be aware of the shame they carry. They need the child to achieve so that they can feel less ashamed of themselves. By pushing their child to do better they invite the child into shame. The child feels shame if he or she is not the “best”. The hot potato of shame has been effectively transmitted.
Can you connect this with examples from your lives?
What are your thoughts on how hot potato transmissions can be stopped?
If these ideas interest you, do enter the world of Transactional Analysis. We have 6 seats left in the next TA 101 on March 15th and 16th. Message me if interested.
https://www.navgati.in/transactional-analysis-programs/
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